professional anxiety Archives - Lauren Bell

Why You Need Coaches and Coaching

Why You Need Coaches and Coaching

My whole career has been about my love of health and wellness, and helping people to be the best they can be. Even as a health and healing professional, though, I went through my own burnout journey. 

My advantage was that I understood what was going on in my world, what I was responsible for, and what I could and could not change. 

So, I left that particular workplace and finished a counselling postgrad that I was undertaking. 

These actions led me into coaching. 

All of us have that something that we just cannot get on top of. It is that something that we know can move us from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Coaching was this “something” for me.

Coaches and coaching

Athletes have coaches that bring the best out of their potential. The principle is the same for all types of coaches. 

We are the experts in our own lives. The answers are inside us, but limiting beliefs or past trauma block us. Having a coach allows us to see or blind spots. 

A coach asks thought-provoking questions so you can move forward safely and get the answers yourself. The process helps to recognise your inner critical thinking, and then moving you into empowerment. 

A coach and a client may have to do some work to heal, understand or reframe things. For example, you want to be successful, but at the same time you fear extra responsibility or that you need to work harder, or you are scared that a new job will take you away from your family.

Unlike traditional therapy coaching focuses on making you accept where you are now because you are perfect as you are. This is a great place to start discovering your potential and opportunity for growth and greatness.

Coaching also touches on self-compassion. You learn why you react in certain ways. When you discover the reason behind your reaction, then you can start forgiving yourself. This is just so freeing. You can give yourself what you have been looking outside from others to do for you. And it’s from this place of self-fullness that you can give and serve those you care for without feeling depleted. 

There is also the aspect of accountability. When you tell someone else that you are going to do something, you put power behind your words. Your coach can then help you be accountable for them and you get the results. 

Self-coaching

One advantage of coaching over therapy is self-coaching.

It is the ability to ask the right questions of yourself without judgment. You empower yourself to feel differently about things and accept whatever the answers may be.

As human beings, we all have feelings. This is normal. Yet, we don’t like many of them. We don’t like feeling sad, being in grief or being angry. We have been taught not to feel them even if they’re normal parts of being human.

When you embrace and allow these emotions to come up in a safe way, you no longer need to defend yourself, so you have more ability to be fully expressed. You can get with the flow of these emotions and permit yourself to be who you are, and that is freeing. 

When you stop limiting yourself and allow yourself to be more authentic, your joy is revealed. You own who you are in a respectful way because you develop inner confidence and authority. You become the expert in your life, and what’s going on for you is right. 

 

Professional Anxiety

Besides emotions, people often experience periods of professional anxiety.

However, through coaching, you can alleviate the signs and symptoms of this condition.

In very simple terms, professional anxiety describes anxiety that you feel in the workplace. However, when you dive deep, it becomes more complicated. It could be related to each of these elements or a combination of them:

  • The work itself
  • A toxic environment
  • The relationships you have with colleagues
  • Your personal tendency to judge, doubt or hold yourself back

If you have professional anxiety, you will always feel you are not good enough for a promotion, even if you might actually be overqualified for a higher position. You worry that your performance is never good enough or doesn’t meet your expectations or ideals. You won’t even go for the role, or perhaps you do but you bring that energy of self-doubt with you. 

My professional anxiety triggered my burnout journey. I felt that I had reached the top of my pay level and had no other way of earning more money, except to do more work. 

So, I worked harder, took on more shifts. I was constantly exhausted and not taking care of myself. My anxiety kept building because I was over giving and overdoing things. I felt like I was doing nothing well. 

In addition, I had this compulsion to ‘fix’ other people’s problems and make them feel better. I now understand that this is impossible, but the need came because of my empathic and sensitive nature. Although these are all good qualities, I absorbed too much of other people’s sensations and feelings. 

I took on everyone else’s problems. I reached a point where the line between my condition and everyone else’s blurred.

If you resonate with my experience, you know it is such an overwhelming burden. 

 

Healthy Boundaries

You need to create healthy boundaries between what’s your responsibility and what’s not yours. 

That’s the whole point. You need to stay in your own lane even if it’s not easy. Once you understand more and recognise that it’s not doing you or the other person any good, then that’s where you can move into that empowered place and make a difference. 

As a certified Tapping into Wealth Coach, I use tapping (EFT) and mindfulness techniques to show my clients what is blocking them and where they are holding themselves back from getting to where they wish to be.

At the heart of what I do is the person. This is why I named my program “It Starts With Me.”

Together, I help my clients do the inside work so that their outer world changes. It truly is transformational. 

To learn more or to schedule your FREE 30-minute Wealth Breakthrough session, contact me.

 

Mindset and Behaviour That Lead To Professional Anxiety

Mindset and Behaviour That Lead To Professional Anxiety

Having been a registered nurse for over 30 years and a holistic therapist for over 16 years, I’ve come across many people with professional anxiety. I was actually one of those people. 

Although each case is unique, I’ve discovered certain mindsets and behaviour that are common among people with this type of anxiety.

What You Think and What You Do

People with professional anxiety are often those who have high standards and ideals about what they want to do, and how they want to present themselves and make an impact in the workplace.

So, they tend to exhibit behaviour patterns, such as:

  • Over giving – drawn to helping and caring for others; prioritising other people’s needs over their own.
  • Doubtfulness –  lacking the self-confidence to put themselves forward for better positions, even though they have put in the work and have the necessary expertise and experience.
  • Self-criticism – always thinking that their work is not good enough and focuses on what they could have, would have and should have done.
  • Perfectionism – anxious not to let people down, so they pressure themselves to give only the most flawless and best output all the time.

These mindsets and behaviour are often compounded by workplace anxiety. When a company does not promote a culture of support and instead perpetuates stress and unhealthy competition, then the mental wellbeing of workers suffers even more.

 

Early Signs of Professional Anxiety

Anxiety stemmed from my childhood. This is often the case, because this is when we are forming beliefs about ourselves and how we fit into this world. I don’t know the exact moment it manifested, but I do have a specific memory that shows how it impacted me, even for little things.

It involves a shopping trip with my mother and my sister. I agreed to getting a pair of shoes I hated because I was afraid to speak up.

Meanwhile, my sister got a great pair of shoes because she assertively didn’t settle for anything less.

This tendency to keep things inside stayed with me until I was an adult. It was one of the reasons for my burnout. 

 

Constant Stress

Being in a constant state of stress puts a lot of unhealthy pressure on a person’s mind and spirit. It impacts on everything, including interpersonal relations. We become snappy or resentful.

Now that I have studied more about professional anxiety, I can spot the signs earlier. I become aware of my feelings and can make choices to change my state, through my beliefs, my emotions or behaviours. 

As a recent example, when I was writing my contribution to The Anxiety Relief Handbook, my mind would race and I would be unable to go back to sleep. I experienced shortness of breath and heart palpitations. 

Being aware of the signs helps me take the proper steps to stem out the wave that comes with anxiety and its sibling, overwhelm.

I  can be gentle with myself, acknowledge how I am feeling, dig beneath it to find out what’s really under it and see it for what it is. From here, I can take the best action to ease it. For example, when my mind is spinning with so many things I need to do, I list all the things down. Next is to look at the list and prioritise which things are most important. I can then schedule them and return to a state of ease, or calm.

 

Shake It Off

I love a story I heard many years ago from my BodyTalk training.

Imagine a prey animal like a deer. It is eating grass when a tiger leaps at it. The deer’s fight or flight activates. It races away. If it outruns the tiger, once it’s safe, it shakes its body and resumes eating. The act of shaking releases tension after a life-threatening event.

When humans go through an anxiety attack, our fight or flight mechanism also activates. Our hearts beat fast. Our breathing becomes shallow. Blood goes to the muscles instead of the brain, so we stop thinking logically.

However, since we are almost always under chronic stress, we never get to the point where we shake things off. Instead, we turn around and think things like “Why me?” or “Why did this happen to me?” These negative thoughts continually feed the stress and the anxiety.

So, next time you feel overwhelmed, literally shake it off. It’s a very small thing to do, but it’s very effective. 

If you want to learn more tried-and-tested self-coaching techniques, get The Anxiety Relief Handbook

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